Yet, the moment it comes, when we are staring death in the face, we realize there is still so much we need to do.Things we didn't get to do. Things we didn't get to see. Places we didn't have a chance to visit. The people we didn't have a chance to meet or to spend time with. The thought is beyond incomprehensible.
As teenagers and as young adults we think we are indestructible, that nothing can break us, that nothing can kill us. It is such a strong misconception that we all have.
This year hasn't been the best for me. I've been going through so much within myself and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. It's a constant battle on the surface and below the surface. But even though i sometimes loose sight of the bigger picture, I always come back to one conclusion...
"Everything happens for a reason. Everything and everyone has a purpose in life. And when things are not looking or going the way you planned for it, just leave it in God's hands and everything will soon fall into place and will soon make sense. All you need is a little faith."
Days before my birthday, I lost my godmother. I'm not really trying to blame it all on the doctors, but the simple fact that they had treated her without knowing what she had, is bizarre beyond belief. It was a constant struggle knowing that she may not make it. The day of her death, i was unable to see her. My mom told me that her daughter was so happy she was going to live. All she did was go to the restroom for a minute or so and that's all it took, for my aunt to fade away. The heartbreak i felt when i heard my mom repeat the words of my cousin ,"No, mi mamá no me pudo haber dejado sola." It was heartbreaking. The not knowing what would happen to my cousin. The events that followed just increased those fears. my aunts husband didn't even give her a wake. Didn;t want to include us in anything and all he cared about was the money. It took moths before anyone knew anything of what had happened.
From one bad news to the next. A couple of days ago, my dad told me that mi Abuelo Edmundo was ill and that he was in the hospital. My uncle told me that they had given my grandfather a 30% chance of survival. His lungs, his heart and his organs were failing and didn't have hope of recuperating. The uncertainties and the heartache of seeing your dad suffer and not knowing what will happen.
Today i was able to chat with my uncle in nicaragua and he tells me my grandfather has recuperated conciousness and that he is feeling better today. Here's my prayer to finalize this blog.
"God I pray that you keep my grandfather in you sight. That you take care of him every
step of the way. Virgin Mary, mother to all, I pray that you you protect him with your santo manto
celestial, like you did with your son Jesus, when he was being sacrificed. A ti Espiritu Santo,
I pray that you illuminate the hands and the minds of the doctors and nurses taking care of my
grandfather and that they take care of him with love and care.
May he make it through this ordeal
He has more to do and has a few good years left in him to
spend with us. In the name of the Lord I pray."